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Top 7 Tips To Handle AngerBy Raymond Lee
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Handling anger constructively is no small feat. As emotions go, anger is pretty intense. Situations that ignite anger – being blamed for something that is not your fault, for example, or being lied to – trigger the flight-to-flight-response, a complex reaction to stress that result in a release of adrenaline, increased heartbeat and other psychological reactions. When angered, our bodies are primed to either duke it out or run for our lives. Most often, anger is functional – a sign that something needs to be changed. It is not a bad emotion; there is nothing wrong with feeling anger. There are right and wrong ways to handle anger. Here are some ways that you can do.
- First, Do Nothing
If you don’t feel as effective at diffusing anger as you would like, stop the moment that you feel your pulse quicken with anger, and do nothing until you have had some time to think. Waiting a moment isn’t the same as stuffing anger. Stuffing is ignoring the problem. I am saying stop and think, and then address the problem.
- Admit That You’re Angry
Don’t bottle up your anger; you will feel resentful. Don’t blow up, either. That usually escalates tension and leads to more anger. The ideal approach is to express anger in a reasoned way that leads to change, not to hold it in or explode. Studies suggest that people who habitually suppress or vent their anger run a greater risk of heart disease, chronic aches and pains, suppressed immunity and other health problems.
- Leave The Scene, Mentally Or Physically
If you overhear your co-workers saying something nasty about you in the cafeteria, head for the room or the parking lot for a few minutes. If your boss criticizes you in the middle of a meeting – when you can’t very well get up and leave – envision yourself leaving the room for a calmer setting.
- Get Perspective
Ask yourself exactly what made you angry. Consider the other person’s intentions, what extraneous variables might have figured into the situation at hand and what your contribution may have been. This alone may diffuse your anger. If someone cuts you off on the highway, for instance, consider the possibility that she might be rushing home to care for a sick child, or that you might have been driving too slowly.
- Speak Up
After you have taken some time to get some perspective, talk it out. Speak calmly and choose your words carefully. Avoid statements like “you made me angry.” Blaming remarks like this put the other person on the defensive, which only makes resolution more difficult.
- Reason With Yourself
Sometimes you can’t tell the other person whom you are angry with that you are angry with her. You can’t harsh it out with the driver who cut you off, or with your elderly mother who is ill with Alzheimer’s disease or with your temperamental boss who just chewed you out in public.
When it comes to your mother, reason may be the best balm. Reminding yourself that she really doesn’t have control over what she is saying can help diffuse the anger. If someone dumps on you inappropriately, it helps to realize that there is something wrong with her, not you. You may have been making some mistake, but that is not the reason for her to dump anger – she could politely inform you.
- Sweat It
Since situations that anger us trigger a powerful physical reaction, getting out and moving your muscles with brisk exercise can do much to help alleviate anger feelings.
Raymond Lee is one of the foremost experts in the health and fitness industry and is the Founder of Bodyfixes Group specializing in body health, muscle development and dieting. He is currently the author of the latest edition of "Neck Exercises and Workouts." Visit http://www.bodyfixes.com for more information.
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Article Submitted On: October 17, 2007