Top 7 Deadly Sins of Conversations
By Carol Ann Lloyd Stanger
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Conversations are one of the building blocks of relationships. In fact, Georgetown Professor and best-selling author Deborah Tannen states that "Each person's life is lived as a series of conversations." Most of us spend so much time focusing on what TO SAY that we don't give much thought to what we should NOT say. Here are the seven "deadly sins" of conversations.
- Posturing. This means appearing to be something you are not. Don't pretend to know things you don't know or be things you can't be. Instead, BE GENUINE.
- Pride. Pride screams "I know everything and you know nothing." Pride tells others you don't need to listen to them. You dismiss their ideas or involvement. Don't focus on your being better than others. Instead, BE INTERESTED.
- Magic mirror. This is the approach of trying to be the center of every conversation. You always need to have the last word. You are your own favorite topic. Don't try so hard to get people to pay attention to you. Instead, FOCUS ON OTHERS.
- Blame game. This is the game of passing blame quickly to someone else in the hopes it will stick. You are so concerned about not being at fault you don't worry at all about finding a solution. Don't be so worried about blaming others. Instead, WORK ON A SOLUTION.
- Withdrawal. This is like the kid who gets mad when his friends won't do what he wants so he takes his marbles and goes home. Your response when others don't do what you want is "I'm outta here!" Don't lose opportunities by withdrawing. Instead, BE WILLING TO LET SOMEONE ELSE DECIDE.
- Accidental tourist. This is the person who stumbles into conversations without any thought or intention and just lets whatever happens happen. It's the "whatever" approach, where you shun responsibility. Don't abdicate your role in the success of a conversation. Instead, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.
- Deaf ears. You don't need to say the words to deliver the message "I'm not listening." Listening is the way to learn more. Don't fall in the habit of planning your response while others are speaking. Instead, TRY TO UNDERSTAND OTHERS.
Carol Ann Lloyd Stanger works with people who wish to take control of their conversations to create more personal and professional success. Visit http://www.brighttorchcommunication.com to sign up for tips on effective communication and powerful conversation strategies.
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Article Submitted On: January 22, 2013